A Night Truly Different From All Other Nights

Every year on this day we ask ourselves the same question. Every year I call BS on the answer.

“Why is this night different from all other nights?”

For one thing… it isn’t. This night is the same as the year before, and the year before that and that and that, dating all the way back to the day Moses took a massive fan to the beach.

But tonight? Finally! Resolution. This Groundhog’s Day of a holiday tradition gets a little twist, albeit in a Phil Connors- gets-a-potential-fatal-respiratory-illness-instead-of-the-girl fashion. (He manipulated her. He probably deserves it… in a cosmic #metoo kind of way)

But all I can think now is:

Mah nishtanah halailah hazeh mikol haleilot?

On all other nights, we eat together as a family after a 15 minute Seder from a book sponsored by Maxwell House and scream “Dayenu” with an emphasis on “DIE” like we’ve done since we were kids. We follow this by arguing politics.

Why on this night do we not argue politics?

Because there’s nothing left to argue, and because our e-Seders have been Zoom-bombed by noted Jew, Ron Jeremy.

Why is Ron Jeremy Zoom-bombing our e-Seders?

Because thousands of years of familial-societal norms are being brought down by modern technology and we’ve truly been socially distant for years before this all started.

Why do I care about this if we’ve already been socially-distant for years?

Because all we desire is for a time where we can sit together for 15 minutes as a family, read from a decades-old Haggadah sponsored by Maxwell House and argue politics. Maybe this time we’ll put away the cell phone, after wiping it down first of course.

Ironically it’s the kind of resolution you’re supposed to get on a holiday, driven home only on the one night that is actually different after a millennia of the same.